Star Wars, My Mother, and Me.

The return of The Phantom Menace to theaters will bring back memories of a better time.

In May of 1999, my mother drove us to Island 16, a theater in Holtsville on Long Island, to see a movie we were both eagerly waiting for. As per my mother’s habit, we went to a late morning matinee showing on the weekend and avoided the crowds and the long lines at concession. 

At the busier than usual theater, my ten-year-old self could hardly contain my excitement to see Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. A prequel film to the movies my friends and I watched on repeat on VHS but also a film series my mother loved and encouraged. I’ll never know her reason for this encouragement as I wouldn’t ever get the chance to ask her these questions when I became reflective on my childhood. Looking back on it now, with memory and nostalgia probably blinding me, I would think it was because I was enthusiastic about it and my mother liked seeing that in me. Also, the values and themes of Star Wars are wholesome, positive, and fundamentally “good.”

Last month it was announced that Star Wars - Episode 1: The Phantom Menace would be returning to theaters in May of 2024 for its 25th anniversary. This illogical, inner child within me jumped with glee at the announcement only to be restrained by the adult version of me who remembered what movie we are talking about. The Phantom Menace is a film that I struggle to enjoy as an adult but loved as a child. For many people this might actually sum up the entirety of their Star Wars experience but really it’s this one film I can’t sit through anymore. But…

I’m not writing this personal piece to debate if The Phantom Menace is a good film or not. It’s a tired discussion but I will say that it’s a bad film with great aspects. As a kid, I did love it and I loved my experience with it - not an ounce of criticism in sight (I was 10 just fyi). It also connected me to my mother who also enjoyed Star Wars. She didn’t have fan theories or talk about it in depth - she just liked the spectacle of the original movies. My mother and I would become borderline estranged in my teens due to a few reasons. Before that, we had this great stretch of time between 1999-2004 where Star Wars played a big role in our dynamic.

So, The Phantom Menace coming back to theaters means a great deal to me.

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Old SW artwork was perfect

My mother and I used to go to the library a couple of times a week and I would sit in the adult science fiction and fantasy section and peruse books written above my reading level. Sitting on the floor on the 2nd level at the Riverhead Free Library, I would get lost for hours while my mother picked out movies or looked through magazines. The books I was attracted to had dragons and wizards but also, I fell in love with those early Star Wars novels. There was so much more to the series than just the 3 movies I watched on repeat and I wanted to know what happened to Han and Luke and if they were ok. It was here I discovered the works of Timothy Zahn and his imagining of life after Return of the Jedi. My mother was wary of adult fantasy books and their themes/content but she let me take out any Star Wars book. 

But what about Vader before A New Hope? A question the fan base wanted answered for almost 2 decades. A question I wanted answered every day! He seemed complicated and full of mistakes. No books covered that yet and this new movie was setting up Anakin’s origins.

The promotional circuit for The Phantom Menace was exhaustive in 1999. It was the biggest movie event of all time it felt like. There was Phantom Menace branded EVERYTHING - you couldn’t look at any form of media without seeing Jar Jar or the incredibly scary-looking Darth Maul. Catalogs, TV, convenience store items - you name it!  The hype from the trailer alone made me count down the days until I could see the movie. 

So in May of 1999, with snacks in hand (my mother loved Snow Caps and I had Gummi Bears), we sat down to watch Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. It was, at the time, incredible. The opening scene of Obi Wan (a YOUNG Obi Wan) and Qui-Gon Jinn infiltrating the Trade Federation ship and the introduction of the droids is memorable. The lush planet of Naboo along with returning to Tatooine years before Luke would be there. The deadly Darth Maul duel and the death of Qui-Gon rattled me. And of course, there was podracing. 

One of the main reasons I want to revisit Episode 1 in theaters is to relive the podracing scenes on the big screen again. Even to this day, the podracing segments are “movie magic” with an intense sense of speed and urgency. Sebulba, the titular villain, plays dirty immediately and the viewer worries Anakin might actually lose. For the time, and I would argue even now, the special effects in this segment stand out and feel immersive. Visual effects from the prequel movies have not all aged well but podracing is still king. 

I loved podracing so much my mother rented Star Wars: Episode 1 Racer for my N64 after we saw the film. It was a cartridge my friends and I would bring to one another’s houses to play against each other in multiplayer. There was a remaster released a few years ago I should get to…

This began a habit my mother would get into over the years. I started with my Nintendo 64 but soon graduated to having an Xbox several years later. My mother would go to Blockbuster and ask about new Star Wars games coming out and rent them for me when I was sick or I had a vacation coming up. 

These are the games I remember my mother bringing home

• Episode One Racer (N64 1999)

• Battle for Naboo (N64 2000)

• Star Wars Starfighter (Xbox 2001)

• Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (Xbox 2002)

• Star Wars: Jedi Starfighter (Xbox 2002)

• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (Xbox 2003)

The Phantom Menace set off a golden age of Star Wars games - choose any of these games at random and you have yourself a great game. Not a bad one in the bunch (even now). My mother’s dedication to knowing when these would come out is endearing and gives us one thing to share. 

But I got older. The Phantom Menace showed its flaws heavily with time and of all the Star Wars films, I can’t sit through the whole thing anymore. I have to skip whole sections due to either Jar Jar or the pacing or the writing. It’s rough to watch as an adult. With that said, I’ll be one of the first to purchase a ticket to see it in theaters again. I’ll sit through the grating voice of Jar Jar and the discussion of trade routes just to relive those key moments of the film that standout. To hear Duel of the Fates in a theater again? That’s worth the price of admission alone. 

Her design is still so beautiful to me.

The Phantom Menace will always represent a window of years in my life when my mother and I were best friends - before life became complicated, sad, and terrifying. I’m grateful for that window and I’m grateful my mother encouraged my interests at a young age even if she didn’t always understand it all. 

This May will give me a chance to remember the good times again.